:: Dictated But Not Read ::
Musings from the ''Miracle Girl''| [::..archive..::] |
|---|
| Things That Have Been Said About Me |
| You are the Minx. |
| She plays taller than her height. |
| You have a refreshing attitude. |
| You're such a renaissance woman. |
| She's not much of a biller. |
| You are very angry. |
| You are so self aware. |
| You need a more sophisticated haircut. |
| You are not afraid of anything. |
| You have a great attitude. |
| Your life is like a Seinfeld episode. |
| You are winsome. |
| You look great in hats. |
| Miracle girl. |
| I am belligerently conciliatory. |
| You've got it big time. |
Monday, December 22, 2003
It's not the news so much...I was involved in a long awful case that ended at the beginning of this month. I represented the children, who were treated horribly by everyone involved. I disagreed with the judge's final ruling but I am obsessed with his reasoning. He ruled against the man in the case, not because of what he had or had not done but because he lied about everything he had or had not done. We often hear that refrain, "It isn't what you did but the fact that you lied about it." Tonight, I am suffering from an analogous phenomenon.
What are the odds? I was driving home from dinner at my parents' house tonight and talking to my friend D. who I hadn't talked to in a couple of months. "I am still really sad but I feel like I am coming out the other side of something, finally. I woke up panicked this morning and went to the office and worked like crazy for hours." D. thought it did sound healthy. So what are the odds that as I hung up with D. and pushed the answering machine button on my home phone that there would be something new to process? Slim to none. I have had enough of processing lately. But, there it was. I had seen the Mount Shasta, California telephone number and known that it must be my ex-grandmother in law. Terrible to have an ex-grandmother but it does happen. She has never figured out that the telephone number that was once "ours" is now mine. I have politely relayed her messages to my ex-husband, J., for the past three years, but this one has me a bit stumped. She said, "J., sweetheart, I am so happy for you, I hope you and R. live a long and happy life together." I guess, now would be the time to clarify that J. and I rarely communicate. I didn't know he was dating an R. and certainly had no inkling he was close to living a long and happy life together with anyone. What are the odds that I would learn this news from his grandmother? It's not the news so much as the way I heard it.
Update: Here's his response to my e-mail congratulating him and letting him know to call his grandmother:
"I’m still laughing over Bubbie doing that, I am sorry you had to hear it that way. As you probably figured out, I got engaged and we’re getting married soon. Will probably be moving to a larger house (Midtown or Inman Park) because her office is home-based too, plus she has a dog and cats. Max loves the dog but isn’t so happy about the cats.
Work is great. I’m shooting my first national ad campaign in in New York in January, a baby ad for Playtex.
Hope the new year brings only good things for you.
J."
If good things come in the form of a larger house probably not. If they come in the form of good friends, laughter and irony, I am all set.
D.B.N.R.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Partner Hair(By Request)
The journey of the young attorney’s career in the large law firm is arduous and requires a level of commitment demonstrated by few. I am an unlikely candidate for such dedication. I am even a person unlikely to be found in a large law firm to begin with, yet here I am on the precipice of partnership. I wonder how I found myself here. I stand here despite my failure, refusal and/or inability to “play by the rules”. I have not billed as many hours as are expected of a young associate. Representing poor people, good works in the community and surfing the internet for potential dates are not part of the billable hours calculation. Though the firm would be pleased if you would do so pro bono work, make yourself visible in the community and had an appropriate date and ultimately spouse at the firm Christmas party, none of these contributes to the bottom line of the firm and therefore none of them “counts” in the way that billable hours are counted. I have spent untold hours, literally, engaged in non-billable community and pro bono legal work. I have done this despite repeated warnings about my paltry billable hours.
The transition point for the young lawyer is when he/she, usually he, becomes a partner. In my law firm this typically occurs after approximately eight and one-half years ago of practice. This summer as the harsh light of pre-partnership scrutiny turned on me I felt I needed a miracle in order to pull it off. (Partners are “made” in the winter. Scrutiny of those who are “up” for partnership is heaviest in the fall.) As is so often the case is in my life a miracle presented itself. I was visiting my sister and she made me an appointment to have my hair done at a rather famous salon associated with her company. I went in for highlights and came out a new woman. My hair, previously wildly curly and out of control, was straightened out to frame my face and made me look, well, to be frank, rather waspy. I met my friend A. for dinner that night. We met at a small restaurant on the upper west side. I was early and was sitting at the bar when A. arrived. He look at me and then past me and then did a double take when he realized it was me. Throughout a long evening of conversation, some of it rather intense, A. kept coming back to the topic of my hair. He assured me that I was soon to find out just how shallow people really are. He insisted people would begin to treat me differently. Most importantly, he was convinced that the hair would make the difference in my pursuit of partnership.
The following Monday I was getting in the elevator with my friend M. a Jewish senior partner in the firm he felt the need to comment to our two non-Jewish fellow riders, the managing partner of the firm and one of the named partners of the firm about my hair. He said, “This is Rebecca’s new Wasp hair.” I was shocked. The two men in the elevator smiled politely. I was feeling the silence so I admonished M. that “we don’t speak that way in mixed company.” We all laughed and the moment passed. I repeated the story to A. and he said, “Just wait.”
Although I have yet to be “made” a partner and I won’t know for at least another month whether or not it will happen I have seen a sign that the hair is working its magic. I was at the firm Christmas party last weekend. I was sitting and watching a football game instead of being appropriately sociable. The same named partner from the elevator came and sat down at the table where I was sitting. He is not a particularly effusive guy. He is a man of few words. So, when he leaned over and said to me “I have been hearing a lot about you”, it was noteworthy. I was, of course, a bit intoxicated and I said, “I hope not bad things”. He looked quite serious and said, “I have been hearing great things about you.” Even his wife looked a bit surprised by his outburst. At that point the first thing I thought was that it was time for me to go home. I mean it is not every day that the guy who is one of three names on a firm of 400 lawyers says something like that during the month when you are being considered for partnership. The Christmas party was not going to get better from there.
It was only later in the quiet of my home that I realized what he must have meant. I am doing the same community service and pro bono work I have always done. My legal skills are what they are. He could not have been hearing about those things. The only thing that is new that people could be talking about is my hair. The hair makes the partner.
D.B.N.R.
