:: Dictated But Not Read ::
Musings from the ''Miracle Girl''| [::..archive..::] |
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| Things That Have Been Said About Me |
| You are the Minx. |
| She plays taller than her height. |
| You have a refreshing attitude. |
| You're such a renaissance woman. |
| She's not much of a biller. |
| You are very angry. |
| You are so self aware. |
| You need a more sophisticated haircut. |
| You are not afraid of anything. |
| You have a great attitude. |
| Your life is like a Seinfeld episode. |
| You are winsome. |
| You look great in hats. |
| Miracle girl. |
| I am belligerently conciliatory. |
| You've got it big time. |
Sunday, April 11, 2004
The Big Red Plastic Cup(Why I am the Meanest Lawyer in the World)
I have been practicing law for almost nine years now and I go to court regularly. One of the first things I figured out is that you should be early to court. Not just on time, early. There is a lot to be learned in those ten or fifteen minutes before the judge shows up. You may run into a colleague who has presented a similar case to this judge or you may get a few words with the judge’s clerk that will provide you with some insight. So, I show up early, always.
Recently a client came to see me with a fairly horrible situation. His ex-wife, who has severe diagnosed psychiatric problems, was filing lawsuit after lawsuit against him trying to change the custody agreement that they had made upon their divorce. The strain on him and his new wife and his child was unbelievable. She basically filed a new lawsuit every few months, generally dismissing it either just before court or on the day of court. In addition she was harassing him in a variety of other ways. The client was at his wits end. He already had a lawyer but the lawyer was in his mid-seventies and did not have the same fire in his belly that he had had in his younger days. The client wanted someone a bit tougher on the case. I agreed to get involved but advised that this far along it probably did not make sense to get rid of the lawyer who had been involved for several years. So, I became co-counsel with George. When I went to his office the following Friday to review the file he was clearly a bit put off. To his credit George did not become defensive he just seemed to scoff at me because I clearly had no idea what I was in for with this particular case. After I reviewed the case file he sat back in his chair and said, “So Margot what do you think we ought to do with this mess?” I rattled off several things I thought should be done over that weekend before the hearing that was scheduled for Tuesday. George was enthusiastic to have me take over the tasks and we agreed to one or two things he would handle.
I worked feverishly over the weekend preparing for the hearing. We had seven witness affidavits. I had sent a subpoena to the last hospital that my client’s ex-wife had been to for one of her episodes. We had an expert witness prepared to testify. I arrived early that Tuesday morning, George was early, our client was there, the expert witness was there, and the hospital’s lawyer was there to protest the production of documents. The opposing lawyer was not there. The judge arrived and called all the cases that were to be heard that day. He generously said that we would wait and see if the ex-wife’s lawyer showed up. He continued on to handle other cases. A while later the judge’s clerk motioned to George and I to come to the front of the court to tell us that the opposing lawyer had called to say she was very ill and might not make it. George and I were skeptical given the history of the case. She called several more times alternating between being on her way and not being able to make it. Finally, the judge’s secretary said that she was on the phone and wanted to talk to George. George urged me to come back to the judge’s chambers with him and be on the phone with him. We hunched over the judge’s secretary’s desk while the secretary sat at her desk and tried to hear the opposing lawyer on her cell phone. She was saying something about having had to go home once already to change clothes because she had gotten sick on herself. She also mentioned that she was going to have to pull over again soon. We were having trouble hearing her so I looked at George and then snapped up the phone and listened to her complaints for about two more seconds before saying, “Listen, I really try to be nice and normally I would say yes we can continue the case. I would normally be sympathetic but given the history of this case and given the fact that we have witnesses here and we have all of these affidavits I am afraid I can’t agree.” At that point she had to get off the phone to go vomit. The judge advised his secretary to call her back and tell her that she needed to show up. George advised that he was glad I had been there because he probably would have given in.
The opposing lawyer did eventually appear, albeit an hour later. She did not have much of a file with her and sick or not I got the impression she was not particularly prepared. We started with the hospital lawyer’s argument about keeping the documents from us. The judge heard the arguments and then took the documents back to chambers to make an in camera inspection to see if he would allow their production. While he was gone the opposing lawyer literally ran outside to vomit. She returned about the same time that the judge returned and made his ruling about the hospital documents. She told the judge that she just could not continue with the case because she was too ill. The judge looked to George to see if he would agree to the continuance. Before George could stand up or open his mouth I leapt out of my chair and chronicled the history of the previous five cases that had been filed by this woman and the fact that she had pursued none of them. I chronicled all of the work we had done in preparation for that day. I cannot honestly recall if the judge let the poor opposing lawyer say another word before he announced that he was going to dismiss the case. For the uninitiated it may be important to note that judges do not ordinarily dismiss cases out of hand without hearing any evidence. George was agape. He has since sent me several clients. Of course, since then, this woman has filed two more similar lawsuits.
Lest anyone think that I am unsympathetic bitch I will assure you that I am a gamer and I have the big red plastic cup to prove it. About five years ago I woke up with a terrible stomach virus. I was vomiting like crazy. I had a trial that morning and knew I had to get there and get there early. I managed to get myself dressed somehow and was heading out the door, my then husband stopped me at the door and thrust a big red plastic cup into my hand and said, “Just in case.” I arrived to court and tried my case with the big red plastic cup sitting next to me the whole time.
D.B.N.R.
